25 things I want my daughter to know...

25) Now matter what people say, it IS cool to hug/kiss Mom and Dad in public.

One day in 10th grade, I missed my bus and my Dad drove me to school.  Before I got out of the car, I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.  When I got out of the car, a group of girls were laughing at me, but I didn't care.  One of those said girls ended up losing a parent.  I bet you ANYTHING she wished she hadn't been "too cool" to kiss her parents more.

 24) You really can be whatever you want when you grow up.

     You will have to work really really hard, and sacrifice, but you decide what your future looks like.  Don't ever blame anyone else for the circumstances that you end up in.  If you want success, work your booty off!!!                

 23) Read Read Read!!!!

Read your scriptures.  Read novels.  Read magazines, brochures, cereal boxes.  Read a lot, because it really does make you smarter :)

22) Eat healthy (most of the time)

 I am a firm believer that healthy eating habits play a huge roll in your health.  As I'm sure you will come to find out, your Dad is a health nut.  I have jumped on the bandwagon because A) I feel better about myself when I'm treating my body well and B) It makes your Dad really really happy.  Now for the Most of the time part.  There are times when a plate of vegetables and lean meat just won't do.  Sometimes a girl needs a big bowl of fettucini alfredo, or cookie dough, or bread!!!  And that's ok.  Just don't make a habit of it ;) 

21) Be a protective big sister.

Your Dad and I won't always be there to watch out for your little brother/sister.  We're gonna need your help.  You will soon learn that while you can torment, torture and tease them, no one else holds that right.  My big brother was always looking out for me, and while I acted like I hated it, I really loved it. 

                                                        

20) Hang out at HOME

 We'll make it a cool place to hang out, I swear!  I would just really prefer you make our house the place to hang out.  I promise to have a very cool, up to date TV, lots of food and semi-privacy.  Then I know where you are at, and that you are safe.  Selfish, I know, but it would save me a lot of worry.

19) Learn the difference between Love and Lust early in life.

 Trust me on this one.  You will SWEAR that you are head over heels in love, but it is just not possible to achieve this feeling in a matter of days.  Love takes time to build, and it includes wanting what is best for that person in every situation.  Lust is just wanting that person, in every situation.  Sometimes it's hard to decipher, but I swear to you, there is a difference.

18) Know who you are.

 There will be a lot of people out there who will try to convince you that you are a lot of things.  Most likely you are none of those things.  People are mean.  Not all people, but a lot of people.  If you form a confidence within yourself early on, it won't bother you, because you will KNOW that you are AMAZING!!!  I know I just told you not to let people tell you what you are, but I'm gonna tell you nonetheless what you are.  You are BEAUTIFUL, SWEET, KIND, LOVING, WANTED, NEEDED, A CHILD OF GOD, A BLESSING TO YOUR DAD AND ME, BRAVE, STRONG, FUNNY, FORGIVING, YOU ARE YOU, AND YOU ARE JUST THE WAY YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE!!!

17) Be thankful for what you have.

 I know this is so cliche to say, but there are starving children in Africa.  You are SO blessed, so please be grateful for what you have been given.  If nothing else, you have two parents who think you are the greatest thing since sliced bread.  You have a safe place to come home to.  That's more than what  the majority of the world have, so be thankful.

16) Play in the rain.

 There is nothing that confuses me more than when I see people darting out of the rain.  It's not acid rain.  Your hair will not fall out if it gets wet.  Your clothes will not melt.  Enjoy it, it's fun!!  I will be waiting inside with a nice warm towel and some hot chocolate, so go ahead and stomp in the puddles, go nuts!!!  Who knows, maybe I just might come out and join ya :)

15) It gets better

 There will be times in your life when you feel like you just can't go on.  It will happen more than once, and each time will feel harder than the last.  I promise you, it gets better.  It gets SO much better.  As one of my favorite spiritual songs states "Hold on, hold on, the light will come".

14) It's ok to wear make-up, but don't treat it like a mask.

 I'm not gonna tell you you can't wear make-up.  I wear it.  I like it.  But you are SOOOOO pretty.  You don't need to wear a lot of it.  Don't hide behind your make-up.  If your boyfriend doesn't like what you look like without make-up on, get. rid. of. him.  He should really prefer you without it, if he's really a good guy.

13) When you do figure out what love is, don't be afraid of it.

 I told you before to be careful in saying you are in love.  But in the same breath, please don't be afraid to fall in love for fear of getting hurt.  I'm gonna really really hate it when you get hurt, but you still need to fall in love.  It is the best thing you can do outside of loving yourself.  Love your honey.  Love your parents.  Love your friends.  Love your pet (if we let you get one).  Love is something that you don't run out of, so if it is deserving, give it freely.

12) Mom and Dad are going to tell you "NO" a lot, but it REALLY IS because we love you :)

 I did not figure this out until I was about 20 years old, but parents don't tell you No just to be mean.  We love you more than words can say, and we want you to be safe and happy.  So No, you can't have a tattoo of who knows what on your shoulder, because I know you will regret it in a couple of years when you are trying on wedding dresses and that stupid dragon tail keeps poking out from under the sleeve.

11) If I promise you something....hold me to it.

 I do not want to be one of those parents who promises everything and delivers nothing.  If I promise you that we will go to Disney Land next summer, start making a list of rides you want to go on, because we will go.  If I promise you that you can have your ears peirced on your 10th birthday, pick out which studs you want ahead of time, because I will take you.  And if for some reason I ever break a promise, never let me live it down, because that is NOT something I want to make a habit of.

10) I don't care if it really means they like you, don't put up with a boy being mean to you.

 It sets a bad precident for how men should treat you.  It is NEVER ok for anyone to hurt you.  You are worth more than that.  Don't be afraid to talk to me if someone is hurting you in any way.  I will protect and take care of you.  That's my job.  And I will teach you how to take care of yourself when I'm not around.  That's my job.  Demand nothing less than respect from those you date and hang out with.  No matter the age or gender of the person, it is not ok for them to hurt you.  Am I getting my message across clearly?? No??  Ok, I'll say it again.  IT IS NOT OK FOR ANYONE TO HURT YOU!!!!

9) Dad WILL most likely physically harm the first person that breaks your heart.  Just lettin' ya know now.

 Kind of contradicts the message I was making before, but I can't control your Father.  He actually worships the ground you walk on, and is madly in love with you, so when (notice I didn't say if) the day comes that you come home crying because so and so has ripped your heart out, remind me to hide the gun.

8) When it comes to friends, QUALITY OVER QUANTITY!!!!!

 I had two amazing friends growing up.  Phyllis and Liz.  They are still my two bestest of friends.  They got me through those awful Junior High years.  I wouldn't trade those two friends for all the "cool" people in the world.  Being surrounded by a bunch of, well, I'm just gonna say it, bitches does not mean you have a lot of friends.  If they are talking crap about other people to you, they are talking crap about you to other people.  I guarantee it.  What I've learned over the years is, relationships should be hard.  Friendships should be easy.  If you have to work really hard to get someone to be your friend, it's not a worthwhile friendship.

7) Do not, under ANY circumstances, post questionable photo's of yourself online or text them to anybody!

 I mean, don't be taking questionable photo's in the first place.  But I know how girls are.  You do something that you think might be funny, but the second you post that or send that, it becomes a permanent part of your past.  It's just a bad bad bad bad idea.  It's a really bad idea.  And you really can't trust someone with that kind of material.  It's a bad idea.  Really bad idea.

6) Don't be ashamed of you faith.

You are a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  This is something to be proud of.  It doesn't mean you are better than anyone else, or that you can judge anyone else, or be mean to someone because they are not the same as you.  It simply means that you believe in God the Eternal Father, and in his Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.  It means that you have a testimony of the plan of salvation.  It means that you treat your body like the temple that it is.  There will be a lot of people who will make fun of you for this, but just ignore them.  Don't be MEAN to them, just ignore them.  Having faith is a beautiful thing, and it will get you through a lot of hard times.  Stand firm in your beliefs and you will make it.

5) Be aware that you and only you have control over how you feel.

 Nobody can MAKE you feel anything.  You choose to feel mad, or sad, or happy.  The sooner you figure this out, the happier you will be.  It's crazy, but it's true.  Once I was really really upset, and I had heard that smiling tricked your brain into feeling happy, so I smiled for an hour straight.  It worked :)

4) For the love of Pete, AT LEAST graduate High School!

 I would really love it if you went to college and got a degree, but at least graduate High School.  It will seem like a total waste of time while you are doing it, but I promise you that diploma will come in handy.  Dropping out and becoming a rock star may seem appealing, but just stay in school, ok?

3) Don't let the fact that you're a girl determine what you can and can't do.

 You are just as smart, just as clever, just as strong as any boy around.  Don't let society tell you otherwise! 

2) BE A NICE GIRL!!!!!!!

 Ella, one of my biggest fears is that you will be a "mean girl".  Please, please PLEASE don't be.  You can dye your hair purple, pierce your face, listen to music I absolutely detest, but just be nice to other people and I won't give you too much grief about that other stuff.  The most important thing to me is that you have a good heart.  I've been on the receiving end of mean girls, and it feels terrible.  Nothing would make me sadder than to know that you were being unkind to someone.  It's not always easy, but take the higher road.  Don't be mean just to fit in.  Don't deny someone your friendship and love just because they are different than you.  Some of the best people I know are opposite from me in many ways, except for the fact they we both had our hearts and minds open.  So if you remember nothing else from this list, just remember number 2 and number 1.

1) There is NOTHING, and I really do mean NOTHING, that you could ever do that would make me stop loving you.

I will get madder than hell at you, I may even be disappointed in you (especially if you don't do number 2) but I WILL NEVER STOP LOVING YOU!!!  You are always welcome home, no matter what you do.  You are my baby, and always will be.  My love is unconditional, and I'm gonna speak for your Dad and say that he feels the same.  I have never for one second regretted bringing you into this world.  You bring so much joy and love to my life.  You may feel sometimes like I am being hard on you, and you might even utter those terrible three words "I hate you" someday, but even then, I will love you.  I LOVE YOU, AND ALWAYS WILL, SO DEAL WITH IT!!

Way too cute, way too much fun!

 This is my Ella girl in the tub, one of her favorite things to do!  She is crawling like a maniac now, and she is getting close to standing up by herself.  She has been loving to sing "Ol' Mcdonald", particularly the "Eee i ee i oh" part :)  I really love hanging out with this girl.  It is getting harder and harder to leave her in the mornings, because now she makes a big fuss about it.  Right now she is missing her "dada", because he is in Miama on business.  We can't wait for him to get back!!!

I took this with my phone, because I didn't want to miss it.  Depending on Kitty's mood, she will sometimes let Ella snuggle and pet/terrorize her ;)  This was one of those moments.  I make sure to reward Kitty with lots of back scratching on nights that she is nice to my Ella!

Hope everyone has had a great Febrary!  Adam and I got to spend some alone time at the Hilton Garden on Valentines day.  Got hooked up with a room that had a hot tub in it!!! So nice :)  Thanks for those of you that help out with Ella so we can have some Mommy/Daddy time :)

Snow bunny

I just had to post this, because it is ADORABLE! Ella loves being outside, and with the cold temperatures, we have to get her nice and bundled.  This is a cute snowsuit that was given to us by my sis-in-law Alex, (she pretty much gives us all of Ella's clothes!).  Not much to report on, just wanted to share the cuteness.

Oh, I will say that Ella is doing great with her sleeping.  She is taking about an 40-60 minute nap in the morning, and a two hour nap in the afternoon.  She goes to bed at 7:00 without a fight, and sleeps between 10-12 hours.  FINALLY!!!!!!  I worked hard to get a good sleeper, so I'm taking some of the credit :)

Before and After Whole 30 ****warning, before and after photo's enclosed!!****

So, I completed the Whole 30 challenge!!! Basically, the Whole 30 challenge is for 30 days, you do not eat any form of sugar, wheat, dairy, or preservatives. You eat A LOT of vegetables, lean meats, fruits and nuts (no peanuts). It was rough the first couple of days without the wheat and sugar, I actually started getting shaky. But after the first four days, I felt a lot better. I also had more energy, which was good because I also made it a goal to work out 5-6 days a week. It has actually been a lot of fun, because Adam is very active, so we've been spending much more time together. We've gone running at night, gone to the gym, and done work outs at home together. I've also been going to the gym with my mom, and been doing workouts with my friend Stacia. My hopes from the Whole 30 were really just to feel better. I had started to feel so sluggish, that something as small as taking my baby for a walk in the stroller felt like too daunting of a task. Now I have so much more energy to play with her and keep up with my ever growing child!! My secondary goal was to lose some of that pesky baby weight. It's not like I gained a ton, but it was the heaviest I've ever been and it wasn't doing a lot for my self confidence. Well, after 30 days of strict commitment, I DO feel a lot better, much healthier, and yes......10 pounds lighter :) I am quite happy with my results, and proud of myself for sticking with it!! I can't say that I'm going to be able to be AS strict as I was this past 30 days with my diet, but I am going to strive to continue to eat healthier, and definitely stay active. It's good for my health, and it's good for my marriage!!! I have even been so bold as to post my before and after photo's. (and yes, I am flexing as hard as I can in both the before and afters. I promise you I was not sticking it out!) If you want to know more about the Whole 30 challenge, go to whole9life.com

Gotta do the "Grateful's"

***Disclaimer....this post was more for my own purposes, is kinda lengthy and maybe not that interesting to some of you, so if you wanna skip this one, no hard feelings :)

So, for some reason tonight, I've let feelings of inadequacy creep up, and I've got a case of the "shoulda, woulda, coulda's". Never-mind the fact that I'm a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, and a full time employee.....I feel like I should be doing, well, more (???). I am basically feeling sorry for myself for not being super-woman, and when this happens, I go through all of the things that I am grateful for in my life, and it usually makes me feel better. So, worth a try, no?

1-Obviously, I am most grateful for my family. My "mom, dad, brothers, sister" family, my "in-laws" family, and my "husband, daughter" family. It has come to my attention the last few days just how wonderful, open, loving, accepting, and perfectly imperfect my family is. Each and every one of them would stand in front of a speeding train for me, and I can say with the utmost certainty that I would do the same. I thank God for them several times a day, and I wouldn't know what to do if even just one of them wasn't in my life. I LOVE MY FAMILY!!! I'M GRATEFUL FOR MY FAMILY!!!

2-I'm grateful that both Adam and I are employed. That is such a blessing, especially right now. Not only are we employed, but I have AMAZING health insurance. Adam has been to countless doctors visits, physical therapy visits, chiropractic visits for his back, and did I mention the thousands of dollars of dental work taking up residency in his mouth? How wonderful that all we've had to do were tiny little co-pays, for which I use a pre-taxed flexible spending card? I'M GRATEFUL TO GET 4 PAYCHECKS EVERY MONTH!!!

3-On that note, I'm grateful that my parents taught me how to budget. Yeah, we've got debt up the ying-yang, but with the skills that have been engrained in me by Janet and Quin, it won't be long before I say "Buh-bye" to that debt for good! I'M GRATEFUL I KNOW HOW TO SAVE MONEY!!!

4-Ok, I know I said family already, but Ella gets her own number :) She is the most exciting part of my day, every day. I love going into her room in the morning and seeing that smile. I love coming home from work and seeing her kick her legs and wave her arms with excitement to see me. There is nothing like having a human being love you with such reckless abandon. She is the. best. Period. I'M GRATEFUL FOR MY BEAUTIFUL, AMAZING, MIRACULOUS, SWEET, HAPPY, GOOFY, WONDERFUL BABY DAUGHTER ELLA!!!

5-I'm grateful to have a roof over my head. Sounds pretty basic, but there are so many people just in Salt Lake City that sleep in parks and on benches because they do not have this luxury. I get in my car every day, drive into a paved driveway, walk into a heated home, sit on my very comfy couch, eat my delicious food at a big table and crawl into a massive warm bed with my husband (and have you seen my husband?) and go to sleep knowing that I'm safe and loved. I'M GRATEFUL FOR A PLACE TO CALL HOME!!!

6-I'm grateful for my friends. The ones that I have now, there are no words. Every single one of them inspires me in a different way. They love me, not because of how I look, or what I do, but because they just do. No conditions. They were there when my life resembled a really depressing after school special, and they are still here years later. I love you all!!! I'M GRATEFUL FOR THE BEST FRIENDS IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!!!

7-I'm grateful for my Father in Heaven. Ha- you wanna talk about unconditional love??? I'm quite sure he carried me through at least a couple years of my life. There were days when I do not know how I ended up in my office chair at 7am, but I got there. For that matter, there were days I don't know how I breathed in and out, but I did. Not because I'm so strong, but because I had a Father in Heaven who saw one of his daughters struggling, reached down, picked up her up, and put her where she needed to be. I've never doubted the presence of God in my life. I've doubted A LOT of things, but never that. I love my Heavenly Father. I'M GRATEFUL FOR HIM!!!

........see, feelin' better already.

Holiday wrap up and more!

So I realize most of these are out of order, and there are even some duplicate pictures you've already seen, but I do what I can with what little free time I have!! So enjoy :)

Ella and I went for a little hike on Saturday...we both had cabin fever, so even though she was tired, we fired up the Jeep Stroller and headed up the mountain side!

Here's my cute little stinker playing in her clothes hamper. She thought this was pretty cool :) She's still not crawling yet, which really is fine with me! But she is very close, she gets up on all fours and rocks back and forth, scoots backwards, and sideways, but no forward motion yet!

This was Christmas morning. Ella had some breakfast and then opened her gifts. Her favorite was her Lullapet, it sings songs and tells stories. What a perfect first Christmas we had with her!

This was my moms Christmas masterpiece. It was a white chocolate peppermint cheesecake cake!! All set on a peppermint candy platter. My mom rocks!

Some pic's of the classic Nativity. Ben was Joseph, Keslee was Mary and Ella was baby Jesus. My mom read from the bible while we watched on, it was very sweet :)

Here was the Christmas Eve feast....and it was AMAZING!!! Tenderloin, potatoes, carrots, salads....oh man, my stomach is growling just typing that out. Can't wait for next years dinner!!!

We got a new niece in December. Molly Luekengah!! She is a precious little doll :)

I realize I already posted about my get together with my friends, but there are a couple more pic's here :) Love this tradition!

Isn't she THE most beautiful little girl you've ever witnessed?!?! I mean, you've heard the saying that a smile can light up a room, but hers actually does. LOVE HER!!!

Some extra Santa pic's...I'm hopin' next years Santa pics are this successful!

Here is Santa. How nice of him to fly in all the way from the North Pole days before Christmas just to get pictures with my little girl ;)

This was one of the coolest things we did this year. This is a refugee family from Africa. It is one woman, I think she is 26 or 27, taking care of her four kids and two of her sisters kids. By herself. When my mother in law met her last year, they had NOTHING in their apartment. So she and some other women in the stake rallied and with the help of Linda's employer and donations furnished her apartment. We thought it would be great to omit sibling gifts this year and take that money to give Christmas to them. We got clothes, coats, toys and some food and took it over a couple of weeks before Christmas. They were SO friendly and just seemed happy despite their meager living situation. We picked up some pizza's before we got there and it's a good thing, because sneaking a peak in their kitchen all they had was Ramen Noodles. It was so great to get the nieces and nephews involved as well, because they really got into it. My niece Alina was so excited that she had picked out three of her own dolls and new exactly who she was going to give them to :) This truly brought back the true spirit of Christmas for me. It felt so much better to give to someone who genuinely needed such basic things like coats and blankets, as opposed to buying some lame $15 gift for your brother who already has anything they could ever want. I hope to make this a new tradition :)

**Oh, as for me...I'm doing something called "Whole 30" this month, basically cutting out sugar, dairy and gluten from my diet for 30 days, then continuing to eat healthy after that. I have also been exercising almost every day for the past three weeks. I will post before and after pics at the end of this month. It's not easy but I'm already feeling the benefits!!! Go me!!!

Sickness...Santa and more!!!

Well, the past 3 weeks, my baby girl has been sick in some way, shape or form. No fun for her or for mom and dad!!! But whenever I feel myself start to get frustrated in the middle of the night when she's coughing her head off and not sleeping, I remember the nights when my mom was by my bedside, playing with my hair and waiting patiently for me to fall asleep. I can only pray that Ella grows up to love me as much as I love my momma. The past week I've been sick myself, and as great as Adam is, he's clueless on how to take care of a sick woman....so when I'm coughing my head off in the middle of the night and can't sleep, all I can this is "I want my mom!!"

Here are a few pic's of what we've been up to since Halloween.....

Poor sick baby girl!!! I just couldn't help but snuggle her, and now I have matching pink eye :(

Liz, doggie Scrappy, cute Corbin,Phyllis, Ellie, Me and Ella. We get together every year around Christmas and watch old classic Christmas cartoons, eat treats and laugh! Liz, Phyllis and I have been doing this since we were in diapers. A couple of years ago we inducted Ellie, and this year we added Scrappy, Corbin and Ella. I am pretty sure we will be doing this until we are in diapers again ;)

Before it got too bitterly cold, I took Ella for one last walk. Doesn't she look just to die in that hat?! I am quite sure I have the best daughter in the whole world. I get home from work and see that smile and I feel like the richest person in the world. Having her and Adam as my family, there just aren't words.....LOVE!!!!!!!!

My best friend Phyllis was in town for a few weeks from London where she and her wife Ellie live. Ella was so excited to see her! We were talking one day at lunch about bullying, and I told her that I would not have made it through Junior High without her and her sister Liz who are my best friends. I was definately not one of the "cool" kids growing up and had my fair share of being picked on, but I always had my two best friends by my side to get me through all the tough times. Love you guys so much!!!! I hope Ella has good friends as she grows up.

Love these two SOOOOO much! Adam is probably one of the best dads ever. He is so hands on with parenting and he loves his little girl so much. I'll tell ya what, there's nothing sexier than waking up at 1am and realizing that your husband has been rocking the baby for the past hour so you could get some sleep.

Ella loved Santa!!! Now, the real Santa couldn't make it to our photo shoot, but my daddy kindly stepped in and I think he certainly did the ol' jolly justice!!! Ella was all smiles. She is such a happy little girl :)

I am SOOOO excited for Christmas with this little girl. It really brings back the magic of Christmas when you have kids, and you can experience everything again for the first time.

I don't do Christmas letters or cards, I am kind of "Anti" because I feel like they are more like "bragging" letters, and that's not really my style. So this is kind of my "Not really a christmas letter Christmas letter"

The past year has brought so many changes to my life. Now I do a lot of praising on here about my girl Ella. She is truly the joy of my life, but it's not all smiles and snuggles. I did not experience that joy until at least a couple months after she was born. She was very difficult in the beginning and it definitely put a strain on my emotions, my body, and my marriage. Yep, my marriage. It is a big adjustment bringing another human into the mix when you've spent the past 9 years being "just the two of ya". We love each other more than words can express, but we WORK HARD to keep it that way.

We moved out of our apartment and moved in with Adams parents. They have a beautiful basement and were kind enough to offer it to us. Why did we do this??? Well folks, we have DEBT. We are trying really hard to pay off our debts without filing BK, so what better way to do that than to eliminate rent? Adam and I both work our behinds off and save as much as we can so we can get out of debt and hopefully in a couple of years save up some money for a house. And while, yes, it's a little hard giving up privacy, it is AWESOME to have live in Grandparents for Ella. They both just adore her and are so nice with helping out with her and letting me and Adam get out once in a while to spend time together.

So, as you can see, our lives aren't perfect. And really, they never will be. But, I do have to say I have an awesome family. That is where I have bragging rights!!!!!!

Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!!!!