Oh Ella......

What else do I ever blog about?  On Friday, it was one of those "I'm gonna document the whole day" type of days.  She is growing and changing so fast, I feel like if I don't capture her on camera on a regular basis, she will slip right through my fingers and I'll never remember the "good ol' days".  I just know that I'm gonna blink and she's gonna be a hormonal, moody teenager who wants nothing to do with me :(  But for now....heaven.

If this is not Adam's mini-me, I don't know what is!!!  My only hope is that as she gets older, she gets his freckles too.  It's one of my favorite things about Adam :)

In the middle shot, she was yelling "HANDS!!"  I really love when she does this, there's just nothing better than that little hand in yours, clinging on just because they want to be near you.

I had a rare Friday off, so we finally got to go to play group at the church.  We didn't know it was dress up, darn it!  Ella especially loved "Pin the nose on the pumpkin".  Girl loves her pumpkins!



Like I said, loves pumpkins!



We went to Mueller Park when Daddy got home from work.  I had no idea there was going to be so much snow up there!  Ella loved looking at the stream from the bridge, and she really loved stomping in that puddle!

These pictures make me want to cry everytime I look at them.  I LOVE how much Daddy and Ella love each other!  I mean, come on!!! Doesn't the one on the left melt your heart to mush!!!

Some beautiful scenary at Mueller Park.  I love the contrast of the snow and leaves.

Oh man, Ella can JUMP!  She will point to the trampoline from the window and say "BUMP! BUMP!"

Kitty has gotten so very patient with this one.  Ella loves to snuggle up to Kitty and say "Nice.."  Kitty gets extra back scratches when she's so nice to my baby :)

California happened

Yeah.  California happened.  I never blogged about it because..  A) I didn't take any pictures because on the second day we were there, my camera fell out of my pocket into the ocean.  B) I just plain didn't get to it.  So, I wanted to document that it DID in fact happen.  We left August 1st and stayed a week.  It was really such a fun trip.  My bro Randy hooked us up with our hotel.  It was right on the beach and had a great pool and two hot-tubs.  The funnest thing we did while we were there was went deep sea fishing.  I was one of maybe 4 girls on the boat, which I think held about 35 people!  But I was happy because I caught fish :)  This pic below was taken with Adam's I-Phone, and he's not big on taking pic's, so it was pretty much the only picture we have from the trip.  Oh well! 

Ella stayed with my sister Amy and her girls Abbey and Sophie.  They took SUCH good care of her and sent me pic's every day.  Adam and I missed her like C-R-A-Z-Y!!!  But I'm not gonna lie, it was heaven sleeping in for 6 days straight :)  Below are the pic's that Amy sent me while we were away.  Pretty sure Ella didn't even notice we were gone with all the fun she was having ;)

Yep, even I can catch fish!!!  It was amazing to be on the ocean all day.  I did have to take a few naps, that rocking really puts a girl to sleep!



On the left, Ella waiting to go to church with Aunt Amy.  On the right, Ella trying on cousin Zach's shoes.




Amy managed to get a pig-tail in Ella's hair!!! This was her first ever pig-tail!




Amy was nice enough to make Ella green smoothies ;)  Girl loves her green smoothies!




Sophie helped with nap times :)



Can you tell that she loves swimming?  Anything that involves being outside, really.  Thank you SOOOOO much Skinner girls for taking such great care of Ella!!  She had an amazing time :)



Gorgeous girl

 Oh man I have SO much to blog about, but life is a wee bit busy these days.  Some recent updates:  I WENT PART TIME!!! I haven't worked part time, like, ever.  Not to brag or anything, it's just always been necessary for me to have a full time job.  With Adam working so hard, and really growing in his position, I've been able to go part-time.  Which enables me to do more worthwhile things, like spend time with my gorgeous daughter!  Something Ella and I have begun doing is going on "Grandma-Great dates".  We take Adam's Grandma Irene out a couple of days a month and run errands and go to lunch.  She is going on 91 and legally blind, and only has one child living near by, so she doesn't get out as much as she'd like.  We really love spending time with her and hearing all her great stories!  I also get to go to the Temple with my mom once a month now, which is always awesome :)  But mainly, I just love watching Ella grow and learn.  She is just SO STINKIN' SMART!  She is very talkative and curious about the world around her.  Her new favorite thing to do is yell "Hands!!" and I then proceed to give her my hand and she drags me around wherever she wants to go.  The other day it was up the hill, down the hill, then down the even bigger hill and back up again! (we live on the east benches in Bountiful).  She still loves to rough house with her daddy, and she loves cutting teeth (NOT!!).  I think we are getting closer and closer to being done with teething though, they all have just been coming at once.  Oh, and dare I forget to mention she LOVES LOVES LOVES watching "Backyardagains".  She runs around the house singing " Yo yo yo fends...da da da againths!" Which his her rendition of the theme song.  I don't feel too bad letting her watch it a lot because it's very musical and creative.  Yeah, she likes watching TV, but she loves being outside more, so I'm not too worried (yet).  Adam has been traveling quite a bit for work.  We always miss him a lot when he's gone :(  He's going to New York in December and I've informed him that I'm coming with!  I don't know if he's taking me seriously or not, but I'm goin'!  Well, I won't ramble on too long.  I've got a lot more pics/info to post, but I'll save it for later.  Enjoy the pictures of my gorgeous daughter :)



1st and 4th generation Miller girls :)




The middle pic, she's growling at the lion on TV.  The one on the right, she had her first ring-pop, thus the blue tongue ;)



The kissy face is my favorite :)

It blows my mind how much she grows and learns every day!  I have no idea where my baby went, but the little girl who has taken her place sure is amazing! 

Just for fun

I can't believe the summer is almost over.  This summer has been such a blast.  Last year, Ella was still too little to REALLY enjoy the joys summer held, so this year has been thrilling watching her REALLY experience everything for the first time.  This girl would live outside if we let her. One of the fun parts of her week is when her cousins Keslee and Jayden come over every other Wednesday.  Here are just a few pics I took this past week, enjoy :) 

I just thought she looked like a little princess on Sunday.  She melts my heart man!

 Kes and Jay snugglin' up and watching Tangled.  If I squint my eyes, this looks like Ben and me back in the day :)

 We went in the backyard and picked apples.  They all just sat there on the steps and munched, it was THE cutest thing!

  These girls are gonna be best friends, I just know it :)  Kes is such a good helper with Ella!

Those eyes!! 

Parenting....

So I was at dinner with Adam the other night for my birthday (oh yeah, had a birthday, turned 28, whoo hoo).  I was discussing with him how I feel SO MUCH pressure (mainly self-inflicted) to be the perfect parent.  He thinks it's completely normal, but I wonder!  I can honestly fill up hours in the day thinking about how I am raising Ella.  Am I feeding her correctly?  Is what I'm feeding her keeping her healthy, or unknowingly going to cause her cancer 20 years down the road?  Am I reacting properly to her new little mis-behaviors? Am I away from her too much, or is it really good for her to be around other people through-out the week?  Am I spending enough time focusing on teaching her how to grow up to be a nice human being? These are the kinds of thoughts that churn around and around and around in my head on a regular basis.  Am I the only one that obsesses about these sort of things?  I think I read about seven (yes seven) sleep books when Ella was a newborn.  I've read books and blogs on nutrition, and now have started reading "Love and Logic Parenting".  Ironically, one of the chapters begins by telling the parent that raising a child is not rocket science, just keep it simple and fun.  Ha!  Good advise, but I have a hard time following the "keep it simple" part.  The "fun" part comes quite easily to me, considering that Ella is such a happy little girl.  I flip-flop between being totally excited for her to grow up and experience life, and being utterly terrified for her to grow up and experience life.  So, not really looking for advise here, but just wondering if any of you out there feel similarly about raising a child.  Am I the only COMPLETELY OBSESSED parent out there?!

10 year reunion

Last night I attended my 10 year High school reunion.  I was so glad that I went, it was so nice to spend a night with a lot of my girlfriends!  Above is a picture (left to right) of me, Rachel, Brittney, Alison, Nicole and Helina.  I didn't know Nicole in High school, but she was super nice and fun to talk to last night.  Adam came with me, but about an hour and a half into it, his back really started to bug him, so I sent him home and I stuck around for the rest of the night.  They had a nice dinner, slide show, raffle and musical performance.  Then there was just a lot of visiting, reminiscing, and lots of laughing!  There were a lot of people who did NOT come (you know who you are!) that I would have loved to have there, but it was still a great night with these fun girls :)  The picture is pretty shotty, I had wanted to bring my camera and take some NICE pictures, but Adam said, "Oh we'll just use the I-phone....they take great pictures..."  Well, I beg to differ.  And the iphone left when Adam did, so this is the only picture I have unfortunately.  Maybe once they post some on the Viewmont website I'll steal them and post some more :)

On a lighter note.....

 Well, the last post was a bit deep, but I gotta throw those ones in every once in a while, right?  This is just going to be your typical, light, picture filled post :)  Starring my favorite little person in the whole world, Ella of course!  We had a really nice 4th of July.  Me, Ella, Adam and Lloyd got up early and went to a flag raising ceremony at the church.  Then we went to the Miller family cabin up in Lambs canyon for a barbecue.    Later that night, me and Ella went to my parents for a visit while Adam rested up for his surgery the next day.
Oh yea, Adam had back surgery!  He had what is called a micro-discectomy on 7/5.  They basically went in and removed the part of the disc in his lower back that was hitting a nerve, which has been causing him severe pain for the last year.  He is doing well now and excited to be rid of that nerve pain!  And now......pictures :)

I just thought this was hilarious, I mean, who would think a girl would get so passionate about green smoothies?!  

Ella and cousin Molly at the South Davis Rec. Center.  Ella was loving it, until she slipped and bonked her head on the concrete :(  She recovered quickly though.  Need to get her some swim shoes!!

4th of July at the cabin.  I LOVE this picture of Ella and Adam, they love each other so much!  And, do you love my Pinterest inspired fruit trays?!  I was pretty proud of myself :)

Ella and Zoey swimming at my moms on the 4th.  Give Ella some water, and she's a happy girl!

Honesty

Way back when I started this blog, I promised to be honest.  I promised to post the good with the bad, so that I don't falsely portray an image of a perfect life that would make other's feel bad about theirs.  Well, I have had a "bad" and a "good", so here goes.  As I was sitting in my car today during lunch having myself a good cry, this song came on the radio (yeah, I still listen to the radio, I'm old school like that).  I just wanted to share the lyrics because they touched me and made me feel better.

Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
For the break that will make it ok
There's always some reason to feel “not good enough"
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction, oh beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
They may be empty and weightless, and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an Angel, fly away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here

So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference, escaping one last time
It's easier to believe
In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees 


In the arms of an Angel, fly away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of an Angel, may you find some comfort here.




I was entering the grocery store on Friday, and before I could get in I heard an old man say from behind me "That sure is a beautiful baby you've got there".  I turned around to see who was saying it, and kind of had my breath taken away.  This man was a spitting image of my late Grandpa Pinson.  I mean, he didn't just sort of resemble him, he looked just like him.  He talked to me for a minute, telling me about how big of a family he has and how wonderful grandbaby's and great-grandbaby's are.  He again complimented me on how sweet Ella was, then went on his way.  At first, I thought to myself..."what a cool coincidence".  But after I just heard this song, I feel a little differently.  I'm quite sure now that my Grandpa Pinson, who for some reason always had a soft spot for me, knew that I was going to have an emotionally charged weekend and paid me a little visit.  It wouldn't be the first time, just the first time while I was awake.

Over the weekend several people that I love dearly butted heads pretty hard over FB.  It left me feeling like I was stuck inbetween a rock and a hard place.  Emotionally drained and deeply saddened for the feelings that were hurt with everyone involved.  I mean, what do you do when a family member and some best friends are having at each other?  In the end I decided to bow out of it completely, deleted most of my FB contacts, aside from family members, and vowed never to get caught up in online drama ever again.  This is something that would NEVER happen face to face.  It just ridiculous that it happens online.

So, still feeling sad today, I took my lunch break in my car and had a good little cry session, when this song came on.  I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, and I could feel the hug.  Not just imagining it, but physically feel it, and I knew exactly who it was from.  I've always felt close to my Grandpa since he passed, and this was another confirmation to me that he's looking out for me and caring for me from the other side.  This may be a pretty personal thing to share on a blog, but I'm all about being honest.

In the end, it is so easy to feel "not good enough", but all you can do is be exactly who you are and hope that it's enough for those who choose to be a part of your life.

Much love to those of you who take me for who I am and love me for exactly who I am.

I

Ella (of course)

 Ella keeps me pretty buys, but I will take a couple of minutes to post a few pic's I've taken of her recently.  She is seriously the funnest little girl.  I love having a little buddy with me wherever I go :)  She has definitely developed the separation anxiety....whenever I leave her to go to work there is a full on melt-down, but from what the babysitter's tell me, it only lasts a minute or two after I'm gone :)  She will always greet you with a friendly "HI!" and a wave, sometimes she will even blow you a kiss ;)  For some weird reason she still only has two teeth, so we haven't eaten anything too crunchy at this point.  We do the low gluten, low sugar thing in my house, so she LOVES mom's homemade almond flour waffles, she LOVES greek yogurt, and she has only ever had almond milk, whole milk, and water...(ok, once or twice she's had a taste of chocolate shake, but don't tell anyone!)  I'm pretty sure she will just eat until she pukes, so I have to gauge when I think she's had enough to eat, or she'll just keep eating!  She has just really started walking the past week, she loves this new discovery.  She already tries to run, but just falls down (thank goodness!).  She is madly in love with her Dad (something we have in common) and loves loves loves to "read" books.  We keep her outside as much as possible, trying to turn her into an outdoors baby, and it's working :)  We swim, go on hikes, jump on the tramp, etc....  Yup, she's pretty awesome, that's all I gotta say.

 This little pool was the best $15 I ever spent!

 Girl loves to swing!

We sprayed the trampoline down with water and she had a blast.

I could kiss this face all day long, but she will only tolerate about two kisses and then she swats me away :(

Ella turns ONE!!!!!

    Last Tuesday, April 17th, my baby girl turned one!  I am kind of blown away at how my life has changed in just one year.  This little girl changed everything.  Adam said the other day, "What did we do before she got here?!"  She rules our life, but in a way that we love.  We wouldn't change it for anything.  So even though Adam made me swear years ago that I wouldn't throw a big party for our one year old kid, I had to do it anyways :)
    I am kind of OCD about what goes into my/Ella's body, so I have been making a lot of healthy treats and meals lately.  So for her birthday party I made some of my favorite healthy treats....( banana bread cupcakes, choco-avacado cupcakes, agave choco-chip cookes, and my favorite, coconut cream shooters! )  I have a lot of fun experimenting with healthy recipes, and it makes me happy that Ella likes them too!  Her cake was a banana cake (no sugar or gluten) topped with chocolate coconut cream frosting (again, no sugar!)  She loved it, and the looks on her face made all the work I put into it worth it.  We had a great turn out from family and friends, I felt so much love and appreciation that day!!!  I love love love my family and truly feel so blessed to have so many people there for us.
    I am not one of those mom's who says "I wish she would stay little forever"....I am quite enjoying the journey of watching her grow and develop, each new phase has something that gets me excited.  Right now she is standing up on her own, and she likes to show off and do little dances while she's standing.  Literally the happiest little girl you'll meet.  Love you Ella Sophia!!!!

 I'm not supposed to say who did the pic's, because I didn't give her time to edit them before I posted them, but "someone" was so kind as to take pic's at the party, and got these cute shots before the party began.

Ella with her birthday cake.  These faces are absolutely priceless.  After the party had kind of wound down, I saw that Ella had found the remnants of her cake and was digging in for seconds :)

Ella opening gifts with daddy.  She is spoiled!! I told people no gifts and this is what happens!!

Fun in the sun

We have really been enjoying the nice weather!  We have been hiking, swimming, and just plain ol' hanging out in the yard.  Our girl LOVES being outside.  I can't believe she is going to be one year old next month!  I think I officially realized I had a big girl and not a baby anymore when she got up to the TV and shut it off and laughed.  Seriously, it wasn't long ago I had to carry her everywhere...and now she's all over the place and handling the electronics!  She is such a happy, fun girl.  It's awesome to have a little buddy who will go places with you and hang out with you all the time!!  I can't wait to watch her cute little personality develop even more. 

Probably won't post again until after her firs birthday, so see you then :)

25 things I want my daughter to know...

25) Now matter what people say, it IS cool to hug/kiss Mom and Dad in public.

One day in 10th grade, I missed my bus and my Dad drove me to school.  Before I got out of the car, I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.  When I got out of the car, a group of girls were laughing at me, but I didn't care.  One of those said girls ended up losing a parent.  I bet you ANYTHING she wished she hadn't been "too cool" to kiss her parents more.

 24) You really can be whatever you want when you grow up.

     You will have to work really really hard, and sacrifice, but you decide what your future looks like.  Don't ever blame anyone else for the circumstances that you end up in.  If you want success, work your booty off!!!                

 23) Read Read Read!!!!

Read your scriptures.  Read novels.  Read magazines, brochures, cereal boxes.  Read a lot, because it really does make you smarter :)

22) Eat healthy (most of the time)

 I am a firm believer that healthy eating habits play a huge roll in your health.  As I'm sure you will come to find out, your Dad is a health nut.  I have jumped on the bandwagon because A) I feel better about myself when I'm treating my body well and B) It makes your Dad really really happy.  Now for the Most of the time part.  There are times when a plate of vegetables and lean meat just won't do.  Sometimes a girl needs a big bowl of fettucini alfredo, or cookie dough, or bread!!!  And that's ok.  Just don't make a habit of it ;) 

21) Be a protective big sister.

Your Dad and I won't always be there to watch out for your little brother/sister.  We're gonna need your help.  You will soon learn that while you can torment, torture and tease them, no one else holds that right.  My big brother was always looking out for me, and while I acted like I hated it, I really loved it. 

                                                        

20) Hang out at HOME

 We'll make it a cool place to hang out, I swear!  I would just really prefer you make our house the place to hang out.  I promise to have a very cool, up to date TV, lots of food and semi-privacy.  Then I know where you are at, and that you are safe.  Selfish, I know, but it would save me a lot of worry.

19) Learn the difference between Love and Lust early in life.

 Trust me on this one.  You will SWEAR that you are head over heels in love, but it is just not possible to achieve this feeling in a matter of days.  Love takes time to build, and it includes wanting what is best for that person in every situation.  Lust is just wanting that person, in every situation.  Sometimes it's hard to decipher, but I swear to you, there is a difference.

18) Know who you are.

 There will be a lot of people out there who will try to convince you that you are a lot of things.  Most likely you are none of those things.  People are mean.  Not all people, but a lot of people.  If you form a confidence within yourself early on, it won't bother you, because you will KNOW that you are AMAZING!!!  I know I just told you not to let people tell you what you are, but I'm gonna tell you nonetheless what you are.  You are BEAUTIFUL, SWEET, KIND, LOVING, WANTED, NEEDED, A CHILD OF GOD, A BLESSING TO YOUR DAD AND ME, BRAVE, STRONG, FUNNY, FORGIVING, YOU ARE YOU, AND YOU ARE JUST THE WAY YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE!!!

17) Be thankful for what you have.

 I know this is so cliche to say, but there are starving children in Africa.  You are SO blessed, so please be grateful for what you have been given.  If nothing else, you have two parents who think you are the greatest thing since sliced bread.  You have a safe place to come home to.  That's more than what  the majority of the world have, so be thankful.

16) Play in the rain.

 There is nothing that confuses me more than when I see people darting out of the rain.  It's not acid rain.  Your hair will not fall out if it gets wet.  Your clothes will not melt.  Enjoy it, it's fun!!  I will be waiting inside with a nice warm towel and some hot chocolate, so go ahead and stomp in the puddles, go nuts!!!  Who knows, maybe I just might come out and join ya :)

15) It gets better

 There will be times in your life when you feel like you just can't go on.  It will happen more than once, and each time will feel harder than the last.  I promise you, it gets better.  It gets SO much better.  As one of my favorite spiritual songs states "Hold on, hold on, the light will come".

14) It's ok to wear make-up, but don't treat it like a mask.

 I'm not gonna tell you you can't wear make-up.  I wear it.  I like it.  But you are SOOOOO pretty.  You don't need to wear a lot of it.  Don't hide behind your make-up.  If your boyfriend doesn't like what you look like without make-up on, get. rid. of. him.  He should really prefer you without it, if he's really a good guy.

13) When you do figure out what love is, don't be afraid of it.

 I told you before to be careful in saying you are in love.  But in the same breath, please don't be afraid to fall in love for fear of getting hurt.  I'm gonna really really hate it when you get hurt, but you still need to fall in love.  It is the best thing you can do outside of loving yourself.  Love your honey.  Love your parents.  Love your friends.  Love your pet (if we let you get one).  Love is something that you don't run out of, so if it is deserving, give it freely.

12) Mom and Dad are going to tell you "NO" a lot, but it REALLY IS because we love you :)

 I did not figure this out until I was about 20 years old, but parents don't tell you No just to be mean.  We love you more than words can say, and we want you to be safe and happy.  So No, you can't have a tattoo of who knows what on your shoulder, because I know you will regret it in a couple of years when you are trying on wedding dresses and that stupid dragon tail keeps poking out from under the sleeve.

11) If I promise you something....hold me to it.

 I do not want to be one of those parents who promises everything and delivers nothing.  If I promise you that we will go to Disney Land next summer, start making a list of rides you want to go on, because we will go.  If I promise you that you can have your ears peirced on your 10th birthday, pick out which studs you want ahead of time, because I will take you.  And if for some reason I ever break a promise, never let me live it down, because that is NOT something I want to make a habit of.

10) I don't care if it really means they like you, don't put up with a boy being mean to you.

 It sets a bad precident for how men should treat you.  It is NEVER ok for anyone to hurt you.  You are worth more than that.  Don't be afraid to talk to me if someone is hurting you in any way.  I will protect and take care of you.  That's my job.  And I will teach you how to take care of yourself when I'm not around.  That's my job.  Demand nothing less than respect from those you date and hang out with.  No matter the age or gender of the person, it is not ok for them to hurt you.  Am I getting my message across clearly?? No??  Ok, I'll say it again.  IT IS NOT OK FOR ANYONE TO HURT YOU!!!!

9) Dad WILL most likely physically harm the first person that breaks your heart.  Just lettin' ya know now.

 Kind of contradicts the message I was making before, but I can't control your Father.  He actually worships the ground you walk on, and is madly in love with you, so when (notice I didn't say if) the day comes that you come home crying because so and so has ripped your heart out, remind me to hide the gun.

8) When it comes to friends, QUALITY OVER QUANTITY!!!!!

 I had two amazing friends growing up.  Phyllis and Liz.  They are still my two bestest of friends.  They got me through those awful Junior High years.  I wouldn't trade those two friends for all the "cool" people in the world.  Being surrounded by a bunch of, well, I'm just gonna say it, bitches does not mean you have a lot of friends.  If they are talking crap about other people to you, they are talking crap about you to other people.  I guarantee it.  What I've learned over the years is, relationships should be hard.  Friendships should be easy.  If you have to work really hard to get someone to be your friend, it's not a worthwhile friendship.

7) Do not, under ANY circumstances, post questionable photo's of yourself online or text them to anybody!

 I mean, don't be taking questionable photo's in the first place.  But I know how girls are.  You do something that you think might be funny, but the second you post that or send that, it becomes a permanent part of your past.  It's just a bad bad bad bad idea.  It's a really bad idea.  And you really can't trust someone with that kind of material.  It's a bad idea.  Really bad idea.

6) Don't be ashamed of you faith.

You are a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  This is something to be proud of.  It doesn't mean you are better than anyone else, or that you can judge anyone else, or be mean to someone because they are not the same as you.  It simply means that you believe in God the Eternal Father, and in his Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.  It means that you have a testimony of the plan of salvation.  It means that you treat your body like the temple that it is.  There will be a lot of people who will make fun of you for this, but just ignore them.  Don't be MEAN to them, just ignore them.  Having faith is a beautiful thing, and it will get you through a lot of hard times.  Stand firm in your beliefs and you will make it.

5) Be aware that you and only you have control over how you feel.

 Nobody can MAKE you feel anything.  You choose to feel mad, or sad, or happy.  The sooner you figure this out, the happier you will be.  It's crazy, but it's true.  Once I was really really upset, and I had heard that smiling tricked your brain into feeling happy, so I smiled for an hour straight.  It worked :)

4) For the love of Pete, AT LEAST graduate High School!

 I would really love it if you went to college and got a degree, but at least graduate High School.  It will seem like a total waste of time while you are doing it, but I promise you that diploma will come in handy.  Dropping out and becoming a rock star may seem appealing, but just stay in school, ok?

3) Don't let the fact that you're a girl determine what you can and can't do.

 You are just as smart, just as clever, just as strong as any boy around.  Don't let society tell you otherwise! 

2) BE A NICE GIRL!!!!!!!

 Ella, one of my biggest fears is that you will be a "mean girl".  Please, please PLEASE don't be.  You can dye your hair purple, pierce your face, listen to music I absolutely detest, but just be nice to other people and I won't give you too much grief about that other stuff.  The most important thing to me is that you have a good heart.  I've been on the receiving end of mean girls, and it feels terrible.  Nothing would make me sadder than to know that you were being unkind to someone.  It's not always easy, but take the higher road.  Don't be mean just to fit in.  Don't deny someone your friendship and love just because they are different than you.  Some of the best people I know are opposite from me in many ways, except for the fact they we both had our hearts and minds open.  So if you remember nothing else from this list, just remember number 2 and number 1.

1) There is NOTHING, and I really do mean NOTHING, that you could ever do that would make me stop loving you.

I will get madder than hell at you, I may even be disappointed in you (especially if you don't do number 2) but I WILL NEVER STOP LOVING YOU!!!  You are always welcome home, no matter what you do.  You are my baby, and always will be.  My love is unconditional, and I'm gonna speak for your Dad and say that he feels the same.  I have never for one second regretted bringing you into this world.  You bring so much joy and love to my life.  You may feel sometimes like I am being hard on you, and you might even utter those terrible three words "I hate you" someday, but even then, I will love you.  I LOVE YOU, AND ALWAYS WILL, SO DEAL WITH IT!!