25) Now matter what people say, it IS cool to hug/kiss Mom and Dad in public.
One day in 10th grade, I missed my bus and my Dad drove me to school. Before I got out of the car, I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. When I got out of the car, a group of girls were laughing at me, but I didn't care. One of those said girls ended up losing a parent. I bet you ANYTHING she wished she hadn't been "too cool" to kiss her parents more.
24) You really can be whatever you want when you grow up.
You will have to work really really hard, and sacrifice, but you decide what your future looks like. Don't ever blame anyone else for the circumstances that you end up in. If you want success, work your booty off!!!
23) Read Read Read!!!!
Read your scriptures. Read novels. Read magazines, brochures, cereal boxes. Read a lot, because it really does make you smarter :)
22) Eat healthy (most of the time)
I am a firm believer that healthy eating habits play a huge roll in your health. As I'm sure you will come to find out, your Dad is a health nut. I have jumped on the bandwagon because A) I feel better about myself when I'm treating my body well and B) It makes your Dad really really happy. Now for the Most of the time part. There are times when a plate of vegetables and lean meat just won't do. Sometimes a girl needs a big bowl of fettucini alfredo, or cookie dough, or bread!!! And that's ok. Just don't make a habit of it ;)
21) Be a protective big sister.
Your Dad and I won't always be there to watch out for your little brother/sister. We're gonna need your help. You will soon learn that while you can torment, torture and tease them, no one else holds that right. My big brother was always looking out for me, and while I acted like I hated it, I really loved it.
20) Hang out at HOME
We'll make it a cool place to hang out, I swear! I would just really prefer you make our house the place to hang out. I promise to have a very cool, up to date TV, lots of food and semi-privacy. Then I know where you are at, and that you are safe. Selfish, I know, but it would save me a lot of worry.
19) Learn the difference between Love and Lust early in life.
Trust me on this one. You will SWEAR that you are head over heels in love, but it is just not possible to achieve this feeling in a matter of days. Love takes time to build, and it includes wanting what is best for that person in every situation. Lust is just wanting that person, in every situation. Sometimes it's hard to decipher, but I swear to you, there is a difference.
18) Know who you are.
There will be a lot of people out there who will try to convince you that you are a lot of things. Most likely you are none of those things. People are mean. Not all people, but a lot of people. If you form a confidence within yourself early on, it won't bother you, because you will KNOW that you are AMAZING!!! I know I just told you not to let people tell you what you are, but I'm gonna tell you nonetheless what you are. You are BEAUTIFUL, SWEET, KIND, LOVING, WANTED, NEEDED, A CHILD OF GOD, A BLESSING TO YOUR DAD AND ME, BRAVE, STRONG, FUNNY, FORGIVING, YOU ARE YOU, AND YOU ARE JUST THE WAY YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE!!!
17) Be thankful for what you have.
I know this is so cliche to say, but there are starving children in Africa. You are SO blessed, so please be grateful for what you have been given. If nothing else, you have two parents who think you are the greatest thing since sliced bread. You have a safe place to come home to. That's more than what the majority of the world have, so be thankful.
16) Play in the rain.
There is nothing that confuses me more than when I see people darting out of the rain. It's not acid rain. Your hair will not fall out if it gets wet. Your clothes will not melt. Enjoy it, it's fun!! I will be waiting inside with a nice warm towel and some hot chocolate, so go ahead and stomp in the puddles, go nuts!!! Who knows, maybe I just might come out and join ya :)
15) It gets better
There will be times in your life when you feel like you just can't go on. It will happen more than once, and each time will feel harder than the last. I promise you, it gets better. It gets SO much better. As one of my favorite spiritual songs states "Hold on, hold on, the light will come".
14) It's ok to wear make-up, but don't treat it like a mask.
I'm not gonna tell you you can't wear make-up. I wear it. I like it. But you are SOOOOO pretty. You don't need to wear a lot of it. Don't hide behind your make-up. If your boyfriend doesn't like what you look like without make-up on, get. rid. of. him. He should really prefer you without it, if he's really a good guy.
13) When you do figure out what love is, don't be afraid of it.
I told you before to be careful in saying you are in love. But in the same breath, please don't be afraid to fall in love for fear of getting hurt. I'm gonna really really hate it when you get hurt, but you still need to fall in love. It is the best thing you can do outside of loving yourself. Love your honey. Love your parents. Love your friends. Love your pet (if we let you get one). Love is something that you don't run out of, so if it is deserving, give it freely.
12) Mom and Dad are going to tell you "NO" a lot, but it REALLY IS because we love you :)
I did not figure this out until I was about 20 years old, but parents don't tell you No just to be mean. We love you more than words can say, and we want you to be safe and happy. So No, you can't have a tattoo of who knows what on your shoulder, because I know you will regret it in a couple of years when you are trying on wedding dresses and that stupid dragon tail keeps poking out from under the sleeve.
11) If I promise you something....hold me to it.
I do not want to be one of those parents who promises everything and delivers nothing. If I promise you that we will go to Disney Land next summer, start making a list of rides you want to go on, because we will go. If I promise you that you can have your ears peirced on your 10th birthday, pick out which studs you want ahead of time, because I will take you. And if for some reason I ever break a promise, never let me live it down, because that is NOT something I want to make a habit of.
10) I don't care if it really means they like you, don't put up with a boy being mean to you.
It sets a bad precident for how men should treat you. It is NEVER ok for anyone to hurt you. You are worth more than that. Don't be afraid to talk to me if someone is hurting you in any way. I will protect and take care of you. That's my job. And I will teach you how to take care of yourself when I'm not around. That's my job. Demand nothing less than respect from those you date and hang out with. No matter the age or gender of the person, it is not ok for them to hurt you. Am I getting my message across clearly?? No?? Ok, I'll say it again. IT IS NOT OK FOR ANYONE TO HURT YOU!!!!
9) Dad WILL most likely physically harm the first person that breaks your heart. Just lettin' ya know now.
Kind of contradicts the message I was making before, but I can't control your Father. He actually worships the ground you walk on, and is madly in love with you, so when (notice I didn't say if) the day comes that you come home crying because so and so has ripped your heart out, remind me to hide the gun.
8) When it comes to friends, QUALITY OVER QUANTITY!!!!!
I had two amazing friends growing up. Phyllis and Liz. They are still my two bestest of friends. They got me through those awful Junior High years. I wouldn't trade those two friends for all the "cool" people in the world. Being surrounded by a bunch of, well, I'm just gonna say it, bitches does not mean you have a lot of friends. If they are talking crap about other people to you, they are talking crap about you to other people. I guarantee it. What I've learned over the years is, relationships should be hard. Friendships should be easy. If you have to work really hard to get someone to be your friend, it's not a worthwhile friendship.
7) Do not, under ANY circumstances, post questionable photo's of yourself online or text them to anybody!
I mean, don't be taking questionable photo's in the first place. But I know how girls are. You do something that you think might be funny, but the second you post that or send that, it becomes a permanent part of your past. It's just a bad bad bad bad idea. It's a really bad idea. And you really can't trust someone with that kind of material. It's a bad idea. Really bad idea.
6) Don't be ashamed of you faith.
You are a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. This is something to be proud of. It doesn't mean you are better than anyone else, or that you can judge anyone else, or be mean to someone because they are not the same as you. It simply means that you believe in God the Eternal Father, and in his Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost. It means that you have a testimony of the plan of salvation. It means that you treat your body like the temple that it is. There will be a lot of people who will make fun of you for this, but just ignore them. Don't be MEAN to them, just ignore them. Having faith is a beautiful thing, and it will get you through a lot of hard times. Stand firm in your beliefs and you will make it.
5) Be aware that you and only you have control over how you feel.
Nobody can MAKE you feel anything. You choose to feel mad, or sad, or happy. The sooner you figure this out, the happier you will be. It's crazy, but it's true. Once I was really really upset, and I had heard that smiling tricked your brain into feeling happy, so I smiled for an hour straight. It worked :)
4) For the love of Pete, AT LEAST graduate High School!
I would really love it if you went to college and got a degree, but at least graduate High School. It will seem like a total waste of time while you are doing it, but I promise you that diploma will come in handy. Dropping out and becoming a rock star may seem appealing, but just stay in school, ok?
3) Don't let the fact that you're a girl determine what you can and can't do.
You are just as smart, just as clever, just as strong as any boy around. Don't let society tell you otherwise!
2) BE A NICE GIRL!!!!!!!
Ella, one of my biggest fears is that you will be a "mean girl". Please, please PLEASE don't be. You can dye your hair purple, pierce your face, listen to music I absolutely detest, but just be nice to other people and I won't give you too much grief about that other stuff. The most important thing to me is that you have a good heart. I've been on the receiving end of mean girls, and it feels terrible. Nothing would make me sadder than to know that you were being unkind to someone. It's not always easy, but take the higher road. Don't be mean just to fit in. Don't deny someone your friendship and love just because they are different than you. Some of the best people I know are opposite from me in many ways, except for the fact they we both had our hearts and minds open. So if you remember nothing else from this list, just remember number 2 and number 1.
1) There is NOTHING, and I really do mean NOTHING, that you could ever do that would make me stop loving you.
I will get madder than hell at you, I may even be disappointed in you (especially if you don't do number 2) but I WILL NEVER STOP LOVING YOU!!! You are always welcome home, no matter what you do. You are my baby, and always will be. My love is unconditional, and I'm gonna speak for your Dad and say that he feels the same. I have never for one second regretted bringing you into this world. You bring so much joy and love to my life. You may feel sometimes like I am being hard on you, and you might even utter those terrible three words "I hate you" someday, but even then, I will love you. I LOVE YOU, AND ALWAYS WILL, SO DEAL WITH IT!!
